Thursday, February 5, 2015

LesFirst Appointment: Off to the Midwife

It's a big day- midwife visit #1!  Tommie has been getting some short reprieves from her nausea and exhaustion, and was able to participate in her bowling league last night (stereotypically lesbian, I know).  We reported the pregnancy to California Cryobank and will soon receive a "packet" with all of our donor's information, including his photos and everything else.  There are things that you should know about the donor you are choosing, each of which carries its own importance during pregnancy.  Here's what we do know about him, all of which will be important when we arrive at our appointment today.

1. He is blood type A-.  Since Tommie is 0+, we apparently should not have to worry too much about any sort of problem with conflicting Rh factors.  Whew.

2. He is 6'1" and 190lbs, which could account for Blanket's abnormally large size.  Blanket is measuring days ahead of schedule.  Some of the other folks who have used this donor have shared informatioin that their babies were quite sturdy when they were born.  I don't mind having a rough and tumble little one.  There's always yard work to do!  We didn't realize it when we purchased his units, but he is a LARGE man. Tommie is 5'7" with tall genes; her sister is approximately 6' tall!



I have a suspicion that we are dealing with Option 2, as the donor described himself as someone who can "walk and chew gum at the same time," but he otherwise has no coordination and no interest in fitness.  He is a smart fellow with a knack for computer programming.

3. He has no Jewish ancestry and neither does Tommie.  I do, and I had no idea that it would have meant a heck of a lot more genetic screening.

4. He is CMV negative and so is Tommie.  We erred on a negative CMV antibody test because, at the time, we didn't know Tommie's status.  Here's why we wanted to proceed with caution with the CMV test (article).

5. He listed "NONE" for his religion!  Hallelejah for us (this has nothing to do with the midwife's visit)!!

6. He has been tested for a number of genetic diseases by California Cryobank.  They regularly screen their donors for Cystic Fibrosis, hemoglobin diseases (Sickle cell, alpha and beta thalassemia), chormosomal normality, and spinal muscular atrophy.  I am hoping we can proceed with all of the other necessary genetic tests today or next week.

Tommie is doing well.  The bleeding has subsided.  Now, she gets some cramping, but her belly is growing and we are half a week away from week 12.  If we can just get a clean report on the genetic screening, we will be resting a lot easier.  I am sure it's a crazy time for all pregnant couples.  There are some good and uplifting articles about the correlation of frozen embryo transfer to the health of a baby.  They look positive!

Sunday, February 1, 2015

LesMaterinity Clothes: Pregnancy Clothes for the Butch Woman?

I woke up with my hand on Blanket.  OK, so I had it on Tommie's baby bump.  She is close to the point at which she will need maternity clothes.  Here's the problem: she normally shops in the men's or boy's sections and finding maternity clothes that don't look like doilies from grandma's couch is becoming quite a challenge. We searched and searched for maternity wear for the butch woman.  It just does not exist.  (I'm thinking...Shark Tank...any designers out there???)  We dug up a few resources:

1. Butch Preggo  
2. Maternity T-Shirts on Cafe Press
3. Offbeat Families' Page
4. Butchbaby & Co.  
5. Dykedads

Most of these sites are blogs, in which people discuss how to take normal clothing and retrofit it into maternity wear.  The common suggestions are to wear t-shirts, overalls, and men's clothing in size XXL.  The only really promising solution is Butchbaby & Co., which apparently has an 8-piece clothing line that is soon being released to the public.  I am about to invest in their company!  I'm sure they will sell out and not have more items until 2017.  By then, Blanket will be two.

For now, we have started to preview Tommie's options from the usual suspects- Old Navy, The Gap, and Target.  Here are some semi-androgynous pieces of maternity wear that we found.

The Gap: Skinny Cords
The Gap: Striped Crew Neck

The Gap: The "Boyfriend" Shirt (I hate the name, but it could work.)

Old Navy has a "hoodies" section for the pregnant butch.  The only one that I found that doesn't look like it came from Talbots' spring collection is the Old Navy Sleeveless Hoodie.


As the pregnancy (hopefully) moves closer to the summer months, I imagine that shorts will be a problem.  All of the choices are fit for pregnant teenagers; most of the maternity shorts I found have a 3.5" or 4" inseam.  What the...???  The only pair that is remotely safe is also from Old Navy: Bermuda shorts with a 9" inseam.


If Tommie wants to be totally stereotypical and wear "active wear" for the entire pregnancy, Target has some options.  Unless she is off to a pregnancy-themed softball game, however, these are completey absurd.  I guess she could wear this:


Maternity Fashion Tank Purple M-Liz Lange® for Target®

I fear that I am getting ahead of myself.  I am normally so conservative in my thinking.  I continue to have so many "what ifs" regarding Blanket's health and the longevity of the pregnancy.  Now that we are in double-digits, I guess I am more hopeful that all is well.  I am so eager to see the midwife this week and to schedule the genetic testing, and the next ultrasound.  If Blanket clears these hurdles, this will instantly become more real to me.  I am counting down the days until February 5th.  Until then, I will watch the Super Bowl, enjoy the short ribs I made, and watch the snow begin to fall.